Why appearance isn’t everything

I think in today’s society we’re far too worried about what we look like. We fuss at ourselves in the mirror trying to achieve perfection. We feel self conscious if we don’t look our absolute best. We judge people based on their clothes, whether they have any makeup on, whether they’ve got their roots showing, or whether they’re covered in dirt. We often don’t know that person’s story. For all  we know, they might not be wearing any makeup because they’ve ran out and haven’t had chance to pick up anymore, they might be covered in dirt because they’ve been running around after their children in a park, and they might not have got their roots done because they’ve just paid for their son’s new school uniform.

I’m guilty of worrying about my appearance all the time. My job at Next often requires me to go to work in my scruffy clothes when I’m working in the stock room, and as soon as I get on the tram in my ripped jeans and oversized tops, I feel as if all eyes are on me, as if to say, why are you wearing that? When I’m on the shop floor, I have to wear smart clothes, and it’s only then that I feel like I blend in, and that’s not right.

I’m the type of woman who feels like they can’t leave the house without their lipstick, that their shoes have to be perfectly polished, that their hair has to be perfectly tamed. The thought of leaving the house in old clothes fills me with dread.I want to take pride in my appearance but then sometimes I think that I’m over worrying. As long as I’m happy and comfortable… does it really matter?

I think the real issue is that we’re too busy worrying about what everyone else thinks. Often they’re people that we don’t even know and probably will never see again. Even worse, sometimes it’s people we know, people who love us, and we’re worrying about what they’ll be thinking. The truth is, if they love us, then they’ll love us regardless of what we look like.

We’re also too busy worrying about what everyone is doing. If that woman on the bus looks tired and weary, and looks as if she’s forgot to brush her hair, and her makeup’s smudged, then leave her alone. Maybe there’s a reason that she looks like that. And if there’s not, then good for her. She probably doesn’t care about your appearance that much, so why should you be worrying about her’s?

It’s time we stopped mindlessly judging. We’re all adults here. Let’s behave like we are.

What do you think?

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Natural hair, no makeup, who cares?
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Thought of the day

“Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people”
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Like most people, I find myself constantly wanting to be like other people. In our culture it’s so easy to do this whether we’re comparing ourselves to our peers, or families or celebrities that we’ve never even met. I don’t spend enough time being proud of myself, because I worry that I’m being selfish, or that I will appear vain. But at the same time, I expect other people to admire me, and then I lend up in a sort of vicious circle.

I find myself comparing myself to other people in silly ways sometimes. I look at fellow bloggers (my absolute new favourite is Audrey Leighton whose Frassy blog is absolutely gorgeous as well as stylish and inspirational) and wish that my life was more like theirs. I want to be travelling around the world, soaking up the sunshine and experiencing new cultures. What I don’t remember is that this is not the only thing that these people do. They’ve worked hard to get where they are, and if I put my mind to it, I could one day achieve something like that. Instead of focusing on comparing myself to others,  I should be working hard too, to achieve my own personal goals.

Sometimes I wish I was more like my friends, whether it’s the fact that they’ve done better than me in exams, or they’ve got a job, or they’ve passed their driving test. What I need to remember is that, at least I’ve passed my exams. I’ve had jobs before and I’ll have jobs again. And one day, despite the fact that it’s taking me forever to drive, I will pass my driving test.

The worst type of comparisons I make are to celebrities such as Nina Dobrev, or Taylor Swift. I wish that I was as skinny as they are, I wish that I was as tanned, that I had loads of money. What I don’t remember is that okay, I might not be super skinny, but at a size 12, I’m not fat either. Although I might not be tanned, I have nice pale skin that goes well with my green eyes and subtle freckles. Nina Dobrev and Taylor Swift are gorgeous but I’m never going to look like them, and that’s fine. People still think that I look okay, and I still have a boyfriend that loves me the way I am. It doesn’t matter that I’m not everything they are, because I’m unique in myself.

So from now on, let’s try and focus on ourselves and how great we are. We need more self confidence, and it’s not vain to be that way.

What’re your thoughts?