As usual, university has completely taken over my life. The problem is that this year, I’m not neccessarily loving it. I’m not sure exactly what it is. It’s just not enthusing me in the same way that previous years have and that’s sort of sad in a way, because it’s my last year. That’s frightening in itself. In roughly six months time, I’ll be out in the real world, desperately trying to seek out my first full time job. As much as it’s a scary thought, for me it’s also an exciting thought. It means that I can finally have a little bit more money to do the things I’ve always wanted to do, like buy a house and go on holiday every year without worrying about it. It also means that I get to pursue a career in something that I’m passionate about and that I’ll thrive in. I think that’s part of why I just want to finish already.
The modules that I’ve taken this year are also a bit of a bother. Some of them are not quite what I thought, and then there’s the fact that I’ve decided to major in English Lit to try and open up my career prospects- my Creative Writing has sort of been pushed to one side, when in fact, that’s the part I’ve always enjoyed the most.
Then there’s my dissertation. Oh my god. Don’t even get me started. I know that it’s not supposed to be easy, but I’m really not feeling supported by my university about my project which is such a shame. I’ve had lots of meetings, I’ve spent hours in the library and I’m still not sure where to start in terms of actually writing it. I’m writing mine about feminism and it’s effects on literature through vampire novels. Sort of random, but as an avid Twilight lover, and current Vampire Diaries fan, it’s right up my street. I’ve discovered some new favourites in Let the Right One In and Interview With the Vampire.
The last thing about this year that’s getting me down is in terms of friendships. I feel like those with my friends at uni have become really distant and I’m not sure why. I feel as if I’ve put in a lot of effort without much back, something which is really disheartening in any friendship. I think the main thing I need to remember about this, is that sometimes friendships aren’t meant to last. I take pride in the fact that my best friends have known me for years, and I know they’ll be friends for years to come. I’ve been told not to waste time on people who don’t give you anything back- I think I’ll start taking that advice.
So there you have it. Third year blues. I just need to keep plodding along. At the end of the day, it is only six months. Besides there’s lots to look forward to! I turn 20 in two weeks, and this weekend I’m going to see the Royal Ballet in Birmingham perform The Nutcracker, my favourite. I’m also really loving the Christmas spirit that’s in the air at the moment, I can’t wait to break up for the holidays!
Lots of love and more soon,