I’ve had a couple of requests for a blog about this subject and I’ve finally gotten round to doing it. Moving in with your partner is one of those things that can either fill someone with joy, or fill someone with dread. I moved in with Rich when I was eighteen and we’d been dating for around six months. For some people, this would have been far too soon, and at the time I had a lot of people around me tell me this. But over a year later and we’re still happily living together, so I’m glad that I went with my initial gut instinct. A lot of people have asked me how we manage to cope with living with each other. They’ve asked, do we fight a lot? Do we ever feel like we have no space? Do we ever wish that we hadn’t moved in together? Well the thing is, no not really. Okay, we might have the occasional bicker over who washed the dishes last, and sometimes I really need to take myself off for a bath with my book for some peace and quiet, but honestly I’m glad I live with Rich, and there’s no one else I’d rather live with. It’s nice to come home and see him, as he cheers me up even when I’m sad, and not only is he my boyfriend, but he’s my best friend too. And this leads me to my first point….
1: Before moving in with your partner, make sure that it’s what’s best for both of you.
You hear a lot of things about couples who move in together before either of them is ready. You need to make sure that you’re on the same page, that you know where the relationship is going, and that you’re both emotionally mature enough to deal with it. You need to find out what the other person thinks about having friends over, what they think about decorating, what they think about parents visiting etc. If you discuss these things before the big move even happens, then you’ll find that it avoids conflict later on.
2: Know where you’re at financially
If you’re moving into a new place together, then it’s important that you choose somewhere that you can both afford. However, this could be different if, for example, one of you earns more than the other and is willing to contribute more to rent/bills. If you’re moving into the other person’s place, then you need to make sure that you’re okay with what your partner expects you to contribute to the rent/bills. Furthermore, it’s important to discuss things such as, do we need to buy furniture? How are we going to split the food bills? Do we need to pay for a Sky TV package? You get my drift!
3: Make sure it’s a home for both of you
It’s really important that it’s your home together and that it looks like both of your homes, not just one of yours. For example, in our flat, we made sure to pick out the decorations and bits together. We made sure that we both contributed to buying bits so that we felt that everything was equally ours.
4: Make time for yourself once you’re living together
Just because you’ve moved in with someone, it doesn’t mean that you’re automatically joined at the hip. I spend the majority of my free time with Rich because that’s just the way I like it, but I always make sure that I have my own life too. For example, I still meet up with my friends, I still meet up with my family, I still go to uni, I still have a part time job etc. Even when we’re both in the flat, we still take time to have our own time too. Take Monday night for example, the football was on, and I can’t stand it, so I went off into the other room to write up some blog posts, watch a bit of Beverly Hills 90210 and to have a bit of peace and quiet.
5: Don’t nag about household chores
When you’re living together, it can be really easy to keep nagging about doing chores around the house. In an ideal world, you’d split them evenly, but often that it isn’t possible. In our house, because I only work part time and Rich works full time, I tend to do about three quarters of the housework in the week, but then on a weekend, we tend to split them a bit more evenly. At the end of the day, it’s both of yours home, so it’s best to just crack on and get things done when you can, as no one likes living in a dirty home…. at least I don’t anyway!
Do you have any tips for moving in with someone? Share them below!