I think it’s so hard to not be influenced by those around us. I always used to feel as if I was copying what others were doing whilst not making any proper decisions of my own. I’m not sure if I did this because I didn’t feel that I knew what was best for me, or because I thought that what everyone else was doing was the only way for me to do things too. Over the last few years, I’ve been trying to escape that mindset, as I want to do what’s best for me now. At the end of the day, my choices affect MY life, they don’t affect anyone else.
One of the biggest qualms I’ve had to deal with is the expectations of being a student. As a student you’re expected to be out partying every night, drowning your weight in alcohol, and flirting with as many people as possible. The thing is, that’s just not me. I like dressing up in pretty clothes whilst sipping on cocktails in a sophisticated bar, and I enjoy going home at a reasonable hour whilst still knowing where my head’s at and what I’m doing. I used to think that that made me boring, and that I wasn’t getting enough out of ‘the student experience’ but I’ve started to come to the conclusion that I’m now getting the student experience I want. I still go out occasionally, and yes I still occasionally get drunk, but the majority of the time, I’m quite happy spending the night chatting away to friends and generally having a laugh. I don’t think that makes me boring.
Consequently, I’m doing what’s right for me in terms of studying. All through school and college, I tried my hardest with my work as I was so determined to get good grades and do well for myself. One of the things I kept a secret for so long was that I was younger than everyone else. When I was in primary school I was moved up a year. Since then I’ve continued with people older than myself, and yet I was ashamed of it. I worried that people would think I was too geeky and weird, and when people did find out about it, they weren’t always nice. Luckily, all of the people that I’ve got in my life at the moment know about it all, and they don’t care. That’s why I feel liberated enough to share this on here. I’m not ashamed of it anymore. So what if I skipped a year of school? I’m proud of it now.
Furthermore, I hate people trying to tell me what’s best for me in terms of my future. When I originally chose my course of BA English Literature and Creative Writing, I was met with some stick about what career options that would leave me with. For some reason, I started to get it into my head that English was a ‘soft’ subject and that I would lend up without any career prospects. But two years into my course, and I’m happy with my decision. My course challenges me, and how you can say it’s a ‘soft’ subject I’m not sure, and to be honest is quite offensive. I’ve started to think about future careers and again, I keep being told that that I’m not going to get into the industry I want because it’s too competitive. I’m determined to prove that those people are wrong, and even if I do fail, I know that I’ve done what’s right for me simply by trying.
I’m glad I’ve started to realise that it’s my choices that count. I’m my own person, and I know my potentials and downfalls. I know what makes me tick, and what doesn’t. Therefore I’m going to keep doing what’s best for me, and I don’t care if it bothers you. It’s my life, and that’s all that matters.